I run a free community on Slack in addition to this newsletter. The goal is to help people using the PakTalent platform increase their chances of getting a remote job.
Today I got an interesting message:
This got me thinking…
What beliefs do people have about getting remote work, and how can I help them change those beliefs?
So this week, I’m going to do a series on developing the right Mindset to get a remote job.
Today, I want to talk about entitlement.
Why We Feel Entitled
There is a switch inside the human mind. I’ve never really understood how it got there, but I know it because I’ve felt it.
When the switch is off, a person feels entitled. Entitled to get help, entitled to be given opportunities, entitled to any number of other things.
And giving them more doesn’t make them feel less entitled. In many cases, it makes them feel more so.
It becomes a vicious cycle. And the entitled person often loses the most, because they lose the ability to advocate for themselves, to be their own champion. They expect that others will do that for them too.
The root issue, I suspect, is that the entitled person never had others in their lives who were able to draw boundaries effectively.
Perhaps there was an issue of survival, and they had a person in their lives who gave them all they could, but never helped them understand that others would have boundaries that need to be respected.
Or perhaps they were always told no and not ever given the answer “Yes, but only…”. The latter would have helped them understand limits, understand that people who are willing to give still have boundaries.
Or perhaps there is another cause. Regardless, the switch is there, and by default, it seems to be off.
And when it’s on, people recognize boundaries. It doesn’t stop them from asking for help, but their approach to the request is different. The request is more thoughtful, more respectful of the person they are asking, and with less expectancy. It also usually comes with the exchange of value.
How To Turn On The Switch
Turning on the switch (which turns off entitlement) is actually pretty easy.
Simply ask yourself the question: “What did I give in order to get the thing I feel entitled to?”
This works because somewhere, deep inside us, we know that opportunities are earned. This is not new, it’s an idea as old as humanity, and stems from the struggles we had as cave people to feed ourselves and be contributing members to our tribe. Back then, as now, when we bring value, we get value in return.
Once we flip the switch, and remember that opportunities are earned, it creates a self-fulfilling prophecy: if we put in the work, and are patient, we will get much more of what we deserve than if we decide we are entitled and simply need to ask. Remember, this doesn’t preclude us from asking. It just changes our approach.
Why You Need To Turn On The Switch To Get A Remote Job
Ever wondered why entry level jobs list experience requirements? Almost every job I’ve seen requires at least 1 year of experience.
It’s a filter. What they really want is someone who can add value on day 1. The time, energy, and money it takes to hire is so much that when a person finally joins, the company has given much more than just that 1 opportunity to that 1 person.
That means they hope/expect that you’ll hit the ground running, delivering value as soon as possible to make sure their investment is worth it. And one way to make sure a candidate can add value is if they have work experience.
But it’s not the only way. You can also come into the interview process providing value from day 1. I’ve covered this in another article about creating a value qualifier.
However, you won’t be in the right mind space if you feel entitled. Instead, you’ll be expecting that all you need to do is ask, and the jobs will just come for you.
And that’s a trap. Don’t fall for it. Flip the switch.
Entitlement is often an issue. I think you are right in suggesting that boundaries are a good place to begin. Tricky when it's with a client